@rra turns out the flashlight randomly turning on is a feature, not a bug. Through pure luck, I found the "touchscreen gestures" page, which allows you to run commands while your phone is locked. I was unknowingly drawing a "V" while the phone was locked to turn on the light.
Welcome to post.lurk.org, an instance for discussions around cultural freedom, experimental, new media art, net and computational culture, and things like that.
This is part of a family of services that include mailing lists, group chat, and XMPP.