me: i'm attracted to research because i like thinking, reading, writing, translating

research: fill this form, come up with a proposal, structure a budget, develop criteria, do a workshop on a very random subject, craft a course on an even more random one, publish or perish, bring some money to the institution

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The problem I see that most of these tasks are not merely mechanic, but they require creativity. That's what stifles the spirit: one becomes idea-fatigued.

I notice it with myself. Ideas and enthusiasm for developing them emerges from unconstrained time, from joy, not from discipline, as Simone Weil convincingly argued.

I wonder how many researchers and academics feel alienated from their own research. I bet A LOT.

@entreprecariat Haha yeah, that was the reason I quit my PhD program 13 years ago. I just didn't have any time to do the research I was supposed to do, and of course burned out. Took about a decade before I could look at academic topics again without feeling physically sick.

@Stoori yeah, I remember when i finished my phd, I had just a general feeling of disgust. After that, I started writing independently and regained some joy. Ironically, the independent, "non-scientific" writing happens to be quoted in various academic journals.

@entreprecariat It always frustrated me as a translator when I had to translate grant applications for people with really good and interesting ideas, and they had to press those ideas into the constraints of a grant application - budget proposals, time frame, expected outcomes, evaluation measures, etc.
I just wanted these people to get the money they needed to do the research they wanted to do.

@entreprecariat I don't think I've ever felt alienated from my research, but did feel a need to take my research outside of academic institutions so I could actually get some work done.

The academic research world is broken: "(s)he who pays the piper, plays the tune". It has not adapted to a diverse world...
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